This. This is why we have no friends.

Recently, a certain Brooke Sara Henrie and I went to a little dinner at  Hash House a Go Go.  And when I say little... well. I lied.  We embarqed in some fabulous festivities.  We were totally ourselves.  In a public place.  Wierd... We got some awesomely frantic stares from some observers.  Needless to say, we enjoyed ourselves, and the food was quite... gargantuan.  Our mothers felt the need to document the experiment with the following pictures, because I am sure they thought we were drugged.  And so did the guy who started recording when we were tap dancing. Awkward.  Anyway, I am sure that our mothers will never again take us anywhere in public.

I seriously overanticipated how long I would need to get ready for this day.

This is precisely how I feel about school.   (Please listen with your speakers turned all the way up for full effect.)

Find your Inner-wizard.

 

   Recently, I have found a great love for Harry Potter.  Some may argue that I am late on this trend.  Others may argue that this love came from the world famous and rather hilarious "Voldemort-Draco" hug.  I do not deny either of these statements.  However, based on the assumption that I love Harry Potter, I have been reading his biography!  I have been enjoying them very much to say the least.  I find that dressing up for the occasion adds to the adventure.  Though many discovered these amazing books many years ago, my timing could not be any more perfect.  Why?  Because this is about the time I should be cramming to read my summer reading books.  These make a rather nice replacement.  Also, they are quite an exciting way to end my summer! (Though I am really rather convinced that my summer is not ending.)  So, if you would like a delighful adventure full of Weaslys, weeping willows,  and bludgers, read Harry Potter.  

The Missing 18.

 You may recall my recent list of 23 reasons why I adore my sister.  If you recall once more, there was no number 18 on the list.  Now, if I'm doing my math correctly, that means there is only 22 reasons.  Which is one less that 23.  This just won't do!  So, I'm adding a new one.  I didn't even know this reason existed until this morning!  But, hence, it does now exist, and so it must be recognized.
  18.  She got me into the broadcast class at school!!!!!  How can someone who lives 26534576803154.742 miles away get me into broadcast you might ask?  Well, it just so happens that Mr. Clark was Ambree's bishop back in the day.  When I went in to talk to Mr. Clark this morning, he seemed rather hesitant to put me in the class.  But then I just mentioned that Ambree was my sister and he said, "You're in!"  It was probably the coolest thing ever!  So now I don't have to take Spanish and everything is good and fine and happy!

la la la. lala

  I really want to go Christmas caroling right now.  Or trick or treating.  Actually, I would like to go carolling and have people pay me in candy.  Let's invent a new holiday where we sing strangers obnoxious songs wearing wierd outfits and they give us candy.  That sounds very fun to me.  Also, it is perfect because if you recall there is no holiday in August.  So August 22 could be la-la-laaaats of candy day.  Anually. And everyone is required to participate in the festivities if they want to call themselves true Americans.

birdie bird bird.

 Mallory Bird. I love her so very much. She is kind of awesome and she makes my life.  If you would like to check her out, well go ahead and behold! :).

Today is Opposite Day.

  Today has been a fan-freakin-tastic day.  I woke up right on time with the sun shining and the birds chirping.  I cheerfully arrived at dance and was warmly greeted.  As we began dancing, my wonderfully fantastic teacher talked about how much she loved us and was so rather supportive.  Then, she decided she was my biggest fan and told me how wonderful I was doing.  In front of the entire team, she congradulated me on my performance.  I went away from dance, sad that it was over but feeling a great self-esteem boost.  Then I arrived promptly  on time at work, and my manager praised me for my punctuality in front of all of my colleagues.  My sunglasses didn't break, and so my eyes were not blinded in the slightest.  I remembered my sunscreen, that magically gave me an awesome tan.  I didn't forget all my food at home, so I didn't starve for nine hours.  Work flew by, because I was having such a great time.  I didn't have to clean the entire women's locker room alone, and we got to leave extra early.  All of the kids at work decided to turn their lives around and didn't do drugs in the guardroom.  When I got home, I felt refreshed from my entirely positive day.  Then, I didn't kick a huge glass of purple grape juice all over the light carpet.  I wish every day was like today.

Bruce.

  Today is my sister's birthday!!!! It's a big deal because she is one of my favorite sisters!!!!!!!!!!!! So, to my dearest Ambree Klemm, Happy Birthday you old fart!! I miss her dear face ever so much.  Like really.  Anyway, today she 23 years old.  So below these beautiful pictures of me and her doing what we do best, you will find listed 23 reasons why I love her!

23. Her fantastic singing voice.  For as long as I can remember, Ambree has been the singer in my family.  I cannot remember a day going by that she has been home where our house has not been filled with music.  Honestly, if our house was quiet we knew something was wrong.  Turns out half the time she didn't realize she would randomly burst into song. We even had to make a special rule. Forever and always inscribed into our childhood heads was the line- NO SINGING AT THE DINNER TABLE!
22. Her love for the Red Sox.  I don't know why I love her enthusiasm for this team so much, but I just love it ever so much.
21. Her face.  I mean just look at it. Its not at all unfortunate looking.  It is quite attractive actually!
20.  She makes bomb macaroni and cheese.
19.  She goes to school in Hawaii.  And although I don't like this on account that I rarely see her, it really worked out when my parents and I got to go visit her in April. I got to spend my sweet sixteen with my big sis (oh, and a dang hot surfer guy)!  It was the best birthday ever!
17. She's gonna be famous one day. (I mean, she's had lunch with Michelle Obama. She's halfway there!) So someday I will be the cool little sister of that one famous girl.  After all, Ambree always said that Frankie had the best life of all the Jonas Brothers.
16. She doesn't like math.  (I mean, I had to be better at something!)
15.She taught me how to do a double pirouettte.  This might sound simple, but no.  Teaching an awkward uncoordinated girl how to dance is no small task and requires extreme amounts of patience.  She literally worked with me for 2-3 hours a day for 2 months.  She deserves snaps for that.
14. Her room has never been clean.  Never.  And when I say clean, I mean a speck of floor showing.  On more than one occasion, she has asked if I remembered the color of her carpet. The answer is no.  Why do I love her messy room you ask?  I suppose it just adds to her Ambree charm!
13. She gives really good advice.  I know this is the cliche thing to say about a big sister, but it is really true.
12. She is not boring.  She gives "not boring" a whole new definition.  Like, for example, imagine a literature conference.  Then, imagine the opposite of that on the boring scale.  Then add spontaneity and some pixie dust and you have Ambree! TA-DAH!
11. She has more courage than anyone I know. (I know this sounds corny, but let's face it.  I'm a fruitcake.)
10. Ambree isn't a fruitcake
9. She loves cheese.  If it weren't for her, our Christmas Eve meal wouldn't be cheeseballs, easy cheese on crackers, and extra cheesy pizza!
8. We are soul surfing soul sisters. Say that five times fast.  Ambree could.
7. Ambree is an exceptionally well fast talker.
6. Ambree would have noticed that there was no number 18 on this list. (and she wouldn't have scrolled back up to check like you just did either.  she is just too smart for that)
5. She is studying peace building in college.  That's pretty legit, I'd say!
4.  She let's me tag along  with her.  Whenever she is in town, she takes me everywhere she goes.  Some of my best days have been the ones where we drive around looking for the perfect pair of shoes or visiting her Anthropology friends. (and I'm not just talking about the clothes and perfume)  I don't remember a time asking her if I could go with her somewhere with her where she has said no. (Except the 2000 Nsync concert; and I'm basically over that one by now)  I love being her errand-running buddy!
3. She is such an amazing example to me.  Honestly, half the things I do, say, and appreciate stem from her.  I probably wouldn't give a skiddlydoo for dancing or baseball or Disney movies if it wasn't for her.  Quite honestly, I have been copying her since birth.  But I guess imitation is the greatest form of flattery.
2. This one time, I was sitting on the couch watching TV and she walked in with a plate with apple slices, pretzels, cheese, and crackers, and asked if I wanted  to share a snack.  She will never know how much that meant to me.  I wasn't having the best day, but it didn't matter anymore.  I will never forget what she did for me that day. 
1.She's my big sister!  And guess what?!  She's stuck with me forever! Isn't that just grand?!

Anti-Stress.

Do you know what I want to do more than anything in the whole world?  I want to go frolicking through a flowery meadow.  I can almost feel the breeze.  Perhaps a picnic lunch would be a lovely touch.  Oh, how I would love to run through soft grass.  (You should be shocked right now. I have never used "love" and "run" in the same sentence; and it will never happen again. ever.)  Anyway, if anyone would like to join me on this venture to somewhere cool and peaceful and delightful with me, just tell me or something.  Ok ya. Yep. Ok.

yummy.

The sky looks like orange juice right now, so I'm drinking Sunny D. The D stands for Delight.  And yes, it is quite delightful.

Home Alone.

   Do you know what the best part of being home alone is?  Blasting crazy music throughout the whole house and having a one man stand/dance party.  Yes. Ok yep. That's all.

Melanie, Marko, and Sasha. Oh, and Tadd.

STUPENDOUS. homie.

     Do you know what day this is?!?!!?! If you said the day I got over my fear of squirrels you would be dead wrong!  Today is the finale of the greatest show that has ever graced the face of the earth!!!!!! Na na na na, SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE (dance, dance, dance, dance)  And guess what friends! Melanie is going to win! Do you know why? Because she has been my favorite since her very first audition! She is quite amazing, I'd say. Yes, that is all.

Pay. Day.

Although there are many rhyming type words in the English language, none sound so beautifully majestic as those of "pay" and "day".  Especially when they are smashed together as a compound word! Woopee!!  Also, you know your life is one big adrenaline rush when the best part of your day is watching a 2 year old chase an ugly albino pigeon around a table for 5 minutes. Theoretically I should have a killer tan right now.  Unfortunately, that is not the case!

My Life as a Sitcom.

Things that happened to me today.
1. I sneezed so hard I fell down.
2. I had a meeting with my partners in crime to continue planning for world domination.
3. I listened to someone say "pillow fart"
4. I drove around in a car
5. I laughed so hard I almost passed out
6. I discussed the issues of  an 11-hour shift
7. I saw a bunny
8. I rode in an elevator
9. I found an actual "I love us card" (This is probably the most successful thing I have ever done.)
10. I saw my life (and the lives of a few others) flash before my eyes
11. I broke and repaired my ghetto fabulous phone cover
12. I hid behind a bush
13. I made people in other cars feel extremely awkward and self-consious
14.I DIDN'T go to work.
15. I had a play-date with a five year old
All in all, I would say it was a great day!

3.1415926535

 I just made a bet. A bet that a certain Brooke Henrie won't obtain a certain item before the beginning of school.  And guess what?! If I win, I get to smash a pie in her face. That's right.  I'm already arranging for the DMV to be closed for the next month. Brooke, prepare to meet your doom. Ye. DUN DUN DUNNNNNNN!!!!!!

Yay. Yahoo. Hip-Hip!

  Today is a great magical day. Why? No it is not because it is Whitney Houston's 47th birthday. (though this is true). It is my day off! I AM VERY HAPPY TO HAVE SUCH. For the past few hours I have been thinking "What shall I do with this day?"  Perhaps I could rock out to Whitney in honor of her birthday. NAHHHHHHH.  Maybe I could perhaps create an alter-ego of myself.  But I don't know how to do that. Also I could learn to type with my nose or teach my dog how to whistle. Perhaps not. I could have another HP marathon! Woot woot! But I just did that... I could sit and watch pointless youtube videos all day. But that would be pointless.  Maybe I could do some community service. You know, save old ladies from wild elk or something. ... You know what I would really like to do today? I want to go to a zoo.  I want to see some zebras and some cows and some cool looking birds.  Yes, that is what I would like to do. I would like to go to a zoo.  Would anyone like to join me in my zoo outing? :)

And the World Spins Madly On...

No words. Can describe. How much I love this.

Bi-lingual.

私が日本語を話すことができる！あなたはできますか？あなたの母への単語。

I am a Pro at Procrastinating.

  These chips have always been delicious.  But curiosly, last night they were EXTRA delicious!  Was it their radical ridges?  Perhaps their flamboyant cheesy flavor? No, I think it was what they did for me.  They helped me procrastinate doing the dreadfully dreadful dishes for five minutes. (With only half the calories of the regular leading potato chips!)  You see, I hate hate hate hate DOUBLE hate LOATHE ENTIRELY doing the dishes.  Who wants to sit and wash radioactive material off of nasty plates? So whenever my parents use the excuse that I always end up getting out of them, (Which I do. like a boss, might I add) I always have to do the dishes to prove them wrong.  After 6 hours of productive procrastination, I doubtfully determined to dutifully do the dishes.  But upon walking down the stairs (and after gracefully glancing through the cupboards) I discovered we had pudding! I like pudding. So I ate it. And I thought, "Wow! I'm not washing nasty slimy plates right now! Something must be working!"  And it was all wonderous and grand until I finished my delicious snack and noticed the spoon in my hand.  Great, more dishes to clean! Smooth move!  I decided to once more try one last thing to pretend the dishes away. But this time, without dirtying any dishes. I open the cupboard, and what do I see? The most splendid sight one can see! (I inserted a picture above for your viewing pleasure.) Chips do not dirty any dishes. So I ate them. And they were good. Top-notch, I'd say! Then I hired my sister to do the dishes for me. Ye doggy! 

Oh How Lovely!

      I am inspired by many things.  One of my favorites is my little piano prodigy cousin Carter.   I could seriously sit and listen to him play all day. Why does he inspire me you ask?! Because he lets nothing stand in the way of his amazing talent! His hands are too small to reach all the notes, you say? He uses his arms! (see the second video, 2:15) In fact, when he met the composer he said, "How do you play that song?! Your hands aren't big enouth!" To which Carter replied, "I had to improv a little..." :)  So here's to you, Carter!  These are two of my favorites, Waterfall and All of Me, both by Jon Schmidt.  ISN'T HE JUST ADORABLE!?

Idealistic Phone Cover.

    A few days ago I came to a realization.  Well, I suppose you could say I learned to accept a realization that anyone with a face realized the second they saw me.  I am a clutz. A total spazz.  An absolutely brilliant breaker-of-things.  (In the last month alone, I have broken a coffee maker, a waffle iron, a lamp, a blender, a finger, and many other things that I have chosen to block out of my memory.  Ok I'm exaggerating. I never broke a lamp. But everything else is true.  But the coffee maker wasn't my fault; I had never even seen one before and it just kind of... exploded.)  Anyway, I realized that my phone had no protection from the haphazards that come along with being associated with, well, me.  But then I found an old gum wrapper in my room.  (I am not a slob. only sometimes.)  And it was not just any old gum wrapper.  It was the outer wrappings of a pack of gum.  Out of pure curiosity, I slipped it over my phone.  It fit like Cinderella's slipper on the fourth of July. (Not that she was even American. But you see the idea. Maybe she was American. But the chances of that are ever so slight.  Ok I have no idea.)  But ya, I found a wrapper, the wrapper fit, and I am too cheap to buy any other sort of protection for my phone.  So now my phone is protected from the dangers of me. Goodie!

Daily Inner Thoughts of a Teenage Lifeguard.

      As I fufill my monotonous tasks sitting upon an elevated chair completing my job requirements, many thoughts enter into my mind pertaining to those whom have lives I am responsible for saving.  For instance, I have come to realize that some old people are nice. But most old people are very not nice. Also, old men should not be allowed to wear speedos, and children under the age of 6 should not be competent enough to verbally intimidate their superiors. 
    Perhaps the greatest part of my job is the funny conversations between children I accidentally overhear while I am eavesdropping. For instance, "This one time I ran over a dead pigeon on my bike!"  Someday I would like to make a kid history episode with all these fantastic quotes.  But I suppose I will leave that to the professionals.
    I would say that it is very worth minimum wage.